There are too many times that I focus on things that I don’t have. I spend my days worried about the moments that have yet to happen, experiences that have been hoped for and are still “not yet”, and I sit and wallow in pity because I’m not where I want to be. But because God sees things that I can’t and makes me wait for things because it’s good for me, I’m able to be thankful for the “not yets”.
Right in this moment I’m sitting on my couch, surrounded by family watching football, the smell of chili in the air, drinking apple cider, and everything is calm. There’s no rush to be anywhere, no one is expected to be anything other than themselves, we all get to just be. And I’m so overwhelmed with gratefulness for these moments for so many reasons. Two days ago, I could barely think straight. I told my best friend that I felt like I was somewhere between a two year old throwing a tantrum because I wasn’t getting what I want and a moody teenager who didn’t care about anything. It was the weirdest mood I’ve been in for a while. I’ve also been getting super frustrated because in my small mind, it seems like everyone I know is moving forward in relationships and I’m still single. I’m almost totally okay with this most of the time, but this week it has bothered me more than ever.
But I’m writing all of this because while this week has been long, hectic, and messy, I’m here today with a grateful heart and a peace that I didn’t have two days ago. And I’m just ridiculously thankful that God uses moments like today to show me that while I may not have what I want, I have what I need. It’s in the moments of stillness that we see that we’re where we should be. It’s in these moments that we truly see how blessed we are. There will always be things that we want. We will always want more than what we have.
And friends I pray with everything in me, that although we are always wanting more, we are able to see that we already have what we need. I pray today, that for just a few moments, you will choose to be still. That you will choose to be still and just take a look around you. Choose to be still and take it all in. God has you where you are because He needs you there. You aren’t here because you had any say in the matter, this is part of His plan. Don’t stop praying and hoping for the things that you’ve wanted for a long time. Don’t lose faith because He continually says, “Not yet.” But know and believe that you are right where you need to be in this moment. Whether it feels like you’ve lost whatever patience you had left or you’ve had your first moment of peace in weeks, He has you where He needs you. Be grateful. Keep the faith. Praise Him in every moment.
“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.”
Psalm 62:5-6 ESV
Beauty in the Ashes 